You guys have really given me some good food for thought. I am struggling because as mad as it makes me at myself I still love him. I divorced him because I was no longer willing to take the responsibilty for him financially and knew I had to take care of myself. That was one of the things that lead him to this third attempt at recovery.
His family and I have all taken the "tough love" stance and he has hit the lowest point he has ever encountered. He is in a recovery house with no money, no food, no job. He had no sheets for his bed. If this does not help him reach recovery I don't think anything will. And I am not willing to watch him die.
I guess there is a part of me that wants to understand this disease. Maybe I never will. And I may never see him again. But I think I will always wonder if he does sincerely accept his part in all of this or if this disease makes him incapable.