Originally Posted by
tjp613 
I was just reading at lunchtime today from the book "How Alanon Works", and I was on the chapter regarding "Detachment". The book was saying the exact same thing and that is how we can "detach with love", by viewing the horrible acts as a function of the disease, not the person. They compared it to someone having the flu ...and if that person had to cancel a theater date because of the flu, you wouldn't be angry or hurt by their cancellation, you would see them as having an illness beyond their control, would have great compassion for them, then go on with your life. The disease and the person are separate things.
I had trouble choking my lunch down believing I'd ever be capable of having that much compassion!
On the flip side of that, if a person has the flu and wants to get better, they seek RECOVERY by visiting a doctor, getting rest, taking meds and drinking fluids.
If our loved one has the flu, but refuses to see the doctor, and all they want to do is whine and cough on everyone around them, then I might not have so much compassion!
Hmmmm....that is very interesting and I appreciate you sharing that. So it is possible he is being taught that or has preceived being taught that as a way to forgive himself and move on with his recovery. I guess I'm trying to put myself in his shoes. If I had done all the things he has I am not sure I could forgive myself which would hamper my ability to move forward in recovery. Maybe it is his way of moving forward.
On the flip side as the receiver.....I'm still not liking it. Ha Ha!