Oh forever I also wanted to mention something that struck me reading your post--
After my divorce it took therapy and a lot of EFFORT for me to let go of my expectations about how my exH viewed the demise of our relationship.
I held on for a long time continuing to be astonished that he didn't see things my way!! What a plate of resentment I was serving myself!
What helped me was therapy & AlAnon. And daily practice at thinking differently and knowing it just didn't matter what he thought, how he felt, what his version was. It just does not matter. I realized I was spending way to much energy defending my part in a relationship that had totally failed.
It didn't work. It was over. Let it go B!!!!
I went to therapy when I decided I wanted to take 100% responsibility for my 50% part in the failure of this marrige. And I wanted to be damn sure I didn't repeat MY mistakes. My mistakes are the only ones I can correct and the only ones I should spend any time mulling over!
peace-
b