dreamstones

Hi all, been a while since I've posted. I still lurk and read, just been soooo crazy past 3 months. On top of AS falling off wagon once again, been dealing with my wife's recuperation from knee replacment, some setbacks in her recovery, as well as job stuff that hasn't been so good.

Well, we got AS in her first 28 day rehab facility (she did an OP rehab 10 years ago, got drunk the first day of release). I think we are on day 13 now, why am I not looking forward to her getting out?? We can't afford for her to go to a 90 day half way house, this would be beneficial to her recovery according to counselors, but we are limited on $$$.

This past episode put sis in hospital for the 3rd time this calandar year. My enabling Mom finally asked for me to take charge, which I more or less didn't do, detachment was key to this. After checking on her in ER to make sure she was stable and calling ICU next day to check on her stability, all of us stayed away. I called social worker at hospital and said when she gets discharged, she can't go to Mom's house or my house, she is on her own. Upon discharge, she went to a temporary shelter. I brought her a bag of clothes, $2.00 in quarters for phone, and told her the next step was up to her, but coming home wasn't an option. I told her to think about it, call when she figured out something. She spoke with an addiction counselor while there and the counselor called, asking if we had means to put sis in rehab, which we barely did.

To make a long story short, we visited her last Saturday for visitor hours. First time ever she said she was an alcoholic and that she needed help. Part of me believed her, part of me doesn't trust a word out of her mouth, I know she may be playing us again, just so she can get out and go back to her secret drinking. I think the fact that she may have to live in streets (she still doesn't work and has nothing) may have been part of the cry for help. Then again, she almost died again, so maybe she did have a wake up call???

Mom claims that this is the last time, that she will kick her out if sis drinks again, but when sis was in shelter, I found out that some of those calls were going out to Mom, begging to come home and Mom almost caved in (images of her "little" girl calling for help, she is 43 years old for cripes sake). I'm stuck in between rock and hard place, especially when I almost had to take my Mom to ER after sis went into hospital. Though Mom is in Al-Anon, she doesn't get hard love, detachment, or the enabling aspect. She says she understands, but that she is a Mom first. I reason with her and she gets it, but she can't commit to tough love.

All I can do at this point is take it a day at a time. I live the 3 C's daily and pray to God for guidance and strength. At this point, I'm more worried about my Mom than AS.

Thanks for listening, this helps. I'm really doing fine though all this, just flying by the seat of my pants as usual. God is with me, I feel the love, I feel the strength and guidance.