a blessing...but it's raw.
there are so many things to be thankful for and i was reminded of one last night.
we were having a family night dinner with my oldest son (23) and my future daughter in law. we had these when i was drinking and i never let it stop me from drinking my vodka from my little hiding place at the end of the sofa.
i was not overt with it but when they weren't in the room i'd hit my vodka straight and chase it with some water. that's how i administered my poison.
anyhoo, last night we were watching some tv. during a commercial both bathrooms were in use. so.....i went to the back deck to take a whizz off of it. i told you it was raw. we live in a subdivision in the country and nobody could have seen it.
but it snatched me back to a terrible memory. there were times when i was drinking that if i hit the vodka too hard it would want to come back up. not wanting anyone in the house to hear me i would walk quickly to the back deck and hurl. it would always be just vodka and water that came back up.
last night as i stood out there i was so thankful that i was not hurling. it never stopped me from going back in and hitting the vodka again in 10 minutes when the stomach settled down. of course that 90 proof vodka never felt good going down a throat that had just had stomach acid pass through it but i did it anyway.
i know that is disgusting to post and i apologize in advance to anyone it grossed out but it just shows the lengths we'll go to when we are in the clutches of alcohol.
i honest to god do not miss throwing up vodka and water. or bile the next morning when nothing else was on the stomach. i called it a small blessing but really it is a huge one.
thanks to everyone on this site that has helped me for the last 100 days. you all rock.
david.