Elsie

here. I've known (and been with) my boyfriend for 3 years.
When I met him I didn't know he was an alcoholic, and by the time I woke up and realized it, I was already pregnant with his baby.
So, of course I had to 'stick it out' to make a family work.
Things got increasingly bad. Many bad fights, many nasty things said to me and my kids etc. Too many to post.

We lived together from February 2008 to May 2009, but tecnically broke up in January 2009. I had to stay in the home until I could afford to move out. (boy was THAT ever tough!)
He was hell to live with during that time.
I picked up my four kids, and we all moved to the city we're in now and we love it here. I love the kids' school, thier friends etc.
He moved to a new city as well, closer to here than he was before as he wanted to be closer to his son.
In June of this year, he told me he still loved me. Realized what he had done. Sought help though counselling, and decresed his drinking.
I was very skeptical of these changes, he hurt me so incredibly bad in the past. (mental anguish, not physical, although we did have a few minor physical altercations)
As we spoke more, he seemed like a changed man! He'd come over and not drink, he was attentive and loving and so happy that we were seeing each other again.
Since then, the drinking has picked up, the nasty comments are making a comeback and my fears for my future with him have resurfaced.
He wants to one day move back in together, but I told him I am not leaving this house. I told him, I'm not picking up my life again, uprooting everyone to move in with him and have everything fail again, after all we are arguing more and more frequently. I'm terrified of history repeating itself.

Now...here's my dilema.
Do I stay with him, or do I leave him?

I love him, I really truly love this man. During our good times, we laugh a lot, we have a lot of things in common, he loves my other kids, he likes my family, he truly loves me.
BUT, after he's been drinking....he says nasty things. The kids witness the things said, they see the empty beer cans start to accumulate on the counter. They say things that are now normal to them but disturb me and my boyfriend. (An example - we played a game where we had to ask the magic mirror a question, and it would give us an answer, kind of like a magic 8 ball. My oldest daughter asked "Will <my boyfriend> ever stop drinking?" He and I looked at each other. Inside I was crying. Or just recently, the girls were playing around and asking him to buy them a Webkinz toy, and my daughter piped up and said "If you do, I'll get you as much booze as you want!" Again, on the inside I crumbled)
He does silly things, and no matter how many times I ask him to stop, it still continues! Like, unbuckling my seatbelt as I'm driving. I laugh once or twice then get angry. When I laugh he assumes I'm having a good time, but when I get angry, he gets angry with me.
He's always threatening to leave my home or break up with me (when he's here) if we have an argument.
Did I post before about the hamster incident? Where I told him I wanted to get my girls a hamster for Christmas and he told me not to. He said that he wasn't going to stand by and watch my kids manipulate me while I bought thier love. He said if I did it, I'd be alone. He threatened to break up with me if I bought them a hamster.

Man, there's just so much.
I'm torn with...do I stay in hopes that he'll change? Do I stay and learn about my codependency and see what happens? But if I do....at what cost? My kids are the most importatnt things to me in this life. (i'm sure many of you can relate to that)
Do I give him an ultimatum? Do I give him a date as to which he needs to start stopping, or do I cut my loses?
From the small tidbit you read, does this seem like a terrible thing for my kids? Am I putting them at great risk if I ride this out?

I think that I'm in love with the man I know he's capable of being, but I'm not sure if I'll ever see him.