Wow, Marie. I first came to SR 3 years ago -- in November of '06. It's been a long journey for me, as well.
The anxiety, the depression, self medicating with alcohol, even the part about your kids keeping you here -- it's all me. Before this last stretch and GOD I hope it'll never end -- I'd made it to 58 days once and 31 days another time. Every other attempt lasted a few days to a week at most.
But upon the advice of some good people here, I kept coming back.
What Taz said about posting in addition to reading has really made a difference for me. On September 1 of this year, I posted a few lists for myself in my own thread --which never really turned into the online journal I'd intended. Anyway, I go back to those darned lists quite often. ESPECIALLY when I'm struggling. Today, in fact, I added another one. If you want to read them, see the thread "Holding Myself Accountable." I think some of it may sound familiar.
Anyway -- keep reading, keep posting and give it time. You CAN do it.
Hugs.