I went through that too Skroomadoom but then I gained acceptance that most people out partying are not alcoholics. I am not like most people. I am an alcoholic. That is the fundamental difference between me and most people. When I stopped worrying about what others are doing and concentrate on what I know that I should be doing ie-getting to meetings and keeping sober then I do just fine.
Never forget that whereas a party getting a little messed up with booze and a few drugs is an event which will be reserved to an evening for most, for me it will have major repercussions on the rest of my life because i am an alcoholic/addict so I lost the power over booze/drugs a long time ago. A party on a Friday night for me would turn into a weekend bender drinking/drugging 24/7 only to crash n' burn and miss work Monday etcetc and maybe would get arrested during the bender or OD or whatever. I may lose my job and then what? More drinking/drugging ? No thanks, I've been down that road too many times and it's Sh*t. It's took me 5+ months to build my life back up to lose it for a party? No F*cking way.
I am an alcoholic/addict whereas most people out partying are not. I used to party with some hard-core people but I wouldn't say that they were alcoholic like me. They can exercise some control but I am powerless. Also 1 drink for me would ultimatley end up killing me ;maybe quickly/maybe slowly but it would mean I would be back in the drinking game again and I may never make it back to sobriety. I wouldn't want to take that risk over a 'party' or whatever. I have a different kind of 'fun' now and it's so much more rewarding. I never see happiness on the face of an alclholic/addict and I never saw happiness on my face when I used to catch a glimpse in the mirror when drinking my withdrawl away. Mugs game.
Sara, Not many alcoholics have got the strength to do it alone either. Thats why there are various support groups (or whatever term you want to use) out there.