Never give up, Marie. We're all in this together. Don't be ashamed or fraught with guilt and remorse. Most of us know exactly where you're at and won't judge you for being an alcoholic who is having trouble stopping. We've been there, too. It's just good that you're here and sharing and reaching out. It's good that you're seeking help from AA as well. In my opinion, very little works without that face to face connection that AA provides. ~hugs~