Chris,
It's more common than not that women trying to get sober will say they get along better with men than with women. Though I'm not dismissing the experience you've had with your mother, we often find the reason we feel more comfortable with men is that they're easier to manipulate. Then, there's that competitive factor, too. We alcoholics and addicts are usually not short on ego, whether it's telling us we're the greatest or the worst.
So, I would suggest you listen closely to the women who share in meetings. When you hear those who speak in a humble way, not too cocky and not entirely self-deprecating, either, then, if you're willing to give this way a shot, ask those women for phone numbers -- and use them, no matter how heavy that telephone might seem to be. We can say all we want, "Suggestions a, b & c are hard for me. I just don't know if I can," but let me assure you, we've all thought there were things we couldn't do. It really comes down to what we're willing to do.
Not many junkies manage to hold onto their presentable looks or snag the job they want. Not many junkies manage to keep their families together indefinitely. And, even these days with detoxes, treatment centers and meetings every day of the week, not many junkies live long waiting around for tomorrow when they think they'll quit. Gotta get off your behind and do something, Chris.
I'll second basIam -- get started. Go to a meeting. Listen.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
P.S. Your second post was much easier to read. Thank you.