Go drink and get high then!! Who's stopping you. Sounds like you ain't willing to give anything else a chance so you may as well go drink and get high.
If you really want to quit drink/drugs then get your a*rse to an AA meeting. Don't cost a penny and if you want it bad enough and do what is suggested to you then it really works too. It has saved 1000's people 1000x worse than you I'm sure. Are you out on the street yet sleeping under a bridge? I know poeple who ain't touched a drop for 25 years who were doing just that who I take wisdom from when i phone them up and talk to them at AA meetings which are free and full of alcoholics who were much worse than I was and living decent sober lives with peace of mind.