Well, I failed. I called him crying. I asked him why he was drinking again. He said he didn't know. I said might not make it if he went down that road again. He said, "I know" and started crying. He said he needed to start going to AA every day. I just stayed on the phone for awhile crying and crying.
He said his rent check bounced. I didn't offer any assistance. He said he's depressed. He didn't talk much at all, his voice is really hoarse because he's sick. He sounded terrible. I told him I was scared for him.
I finally got off the phone and fell asleep for awhile. I'll try again tomorrow. I'm going out with a girlfriend tomorrow night, so that should help. I need to get busy.
I can't help him. I have to just focus on me and let him do what he's going to do. I really appreciate all the support I've received here. I've learned so much. I shouldn't have called him. I know that for me, I can't keep doing this to myself. I have to take care of myself because no one else can do that for me.
Tomorrow: Gym, work, dinner date with girlfriend. No contact.