I can't say it any better than Goat and Asta did. I will just confirm that your dad may just not know how to show he loves you and money is an easy way to tell someone you care, even if in a somewhat roundabout way. Can you write him a letter or call him? Tell him that you're having some problems and need his help (not saying his financial help, just his help). See what he says and take it from there. That's what I would do. Be direct without being shocking or greedy. Let him know you want to clean up your life and live better in the future.
I really hope it goes well for you. You are my daughter's age, so I feel I understand and know how I'd feel if my kids told me something like that. I'd do anything I could to help them out, or rather, to help them help themselves. When they were little and learning how to walk, I didn't move their feet for them but I was close by to catch them if they started to fall.
(((hugs))) Do'nt give up on yourself, no matter what! You are not a loser, you're a human being going thru some rough times. You deserve a better sober life and it's worth working for. So just do whatever you have to do to get the help you know you need. Every life is worth it.