Originally Posted by
NEOMARXIST 
Thanks for the posts people.
Sara19 my only advice to you is that you have to want sobriety more than getting F*cked up, untill you reach that point then you will continue going down the same path.
Recovery from alcohol/drug addiction is not easy, that's why the majority of people go back to drinking/drugging. That is easy, anyone can get to a rough patch and choose to chuck a can of booze down their neck or put a line up their nose. Too easy.
it's not that i want to be ****** up all the time... i need it, to be myself.. i cant function normally without it... this isnt fun for me, its more like self-medicating i guess.. put it this way, i know drinking might kill me eventually (i take other drugs too, but i can take or leave them), but if i didnt have it i'd probably be dead already.. i know this probably isnt the type of thing people here want to see, but its true, for me anyway... thats what makes all of this so difficult and scary