Hi All,
I called myself a "functional alcoholic" and when I learned the phrase "self-medicating"...I chose to use self medicating with alcohol for my depression & anxiety. It sounded more like an illness than alcoholism. Don't know who I thought I was kidding?
My turning point was the Thursday morning I had to look in the garbage to see what I had cooked my daughter for supper the night before. She was 12 years old and had been dx with Juvenile Diabetes three months prior to this. She had a weekly appointment to go over her diet & insulin/blood sugar results with her doc.
I made an appointment at Mental Health that same day & the next day was in the local hospital for a medical detox. I was 48 years old, working, & had my youngest child of five kids still home. This was 21 years ago....a very hard & long road to get where I am today...still sober & receiving help for my anxiety and depression.
I wanted to be sober a long time before I was able to stay sober any length of time. I thought I was doing okay because I hadn't met any of the "yets" & did function well on my job, kept my house clean, and daughter neat & clean but I was divorced by my own choice twice. I was so depressed I felt like my brain wasn't functioning but did not relate that to my alcoholic drinking.
When I asked for help I wanted a sober life more than anything else. I wanted sobriety for "me" only me so I could relate with the rest of my family. That is what helped me...also counseling, AA, a sponsor, the Serenity Prayer and a whole lot of work on myself.
I was, am, and always will be an alcoholic one drink away from certain death. I have no desire to drink but I know people that have drank after many years of sobriety and also some that died alone in their drunking state. I have a 40 year old son that is a quadriplegic from a suicide attempt. The family predisposition for an illness or disease is a true fact in my case.
I thank all of you for sharing...it seems we hear so much about the male alcoholic when there are many female alcoholics that can destroy their life too.
kelsh