Everyone's in agreement - our normies can't truly understand. I've tried to explain my feelings to my husband, & though he'd nod & say he got it, I knew deep down that was impossible. My family mostly just thought it was a character flaw - why couldn't I just say NO? Sadly, most of the people in my life didn't do much researching or educate themselves on the subject. I guess it was too complicated for them.
I agree Al-anon is a very good idea. I'm glad you found us, Sherie. Let us know how it's going for you.