Hey all! Haven't posted in awhile, but just wanted to say . . . wow. Sobriety is a kicker. Today is day 39, and on day 33, I spontaneously put my two weeks notice in at a job that has made me miserable for 6 years. SIX YEARS!!!! The work environment is a huge trigger. When I am there, involuntary thoughts of "You're gonna drink tonight!" hop into my head due to my many years of conditioned response and also the high-stress situations push my buttons like crazy. Ahhh! Only a week and a half left!! This change, I know, is a direct side effect of being sober. I am unwilling to continue being unhappy doing something now that my mind is clear. I didn't have any other job prospects, but really am living on the idea "Jump and the net will appear!"
I feel amazing about this choice and am exploring so many other job options that I wouldn't have even considered before . . . Though my stomach has been tied in knots for about 3 days now, I'm putting all of my energy into staying positive and optimistic! I still feel the fear late at night when the urges strike me most (generally after leaving previously referenced job), but if this was going to be easy, people wouldn't drink themselves into the grave, right? If this was going to be easy, I wouldn't have failed at it so many times before, right? If this was going to be easy, I wouldn't feel so much satisfaction simply completing a day sober, right?
Ahhhh to feel true freedom, one must fight an honest fight. Cheers to the many lovely changes we all have ahead, and cheers to all the lovely battles we have fought to get to today
Much love to you all! Stay sane and sober.
