I did not have time to respond then but you donīt know how grateful I was to read your words, I was in tears when I did so THANK YOU everyone for cheering me up in a bad moment.
Book, I am on a lower dosage (2mg) and it did the trick... I am motivated to keep taking my trash out so hopefully one day I feel good without any meds.
330 AM, work at 9 then got a cocktail tomorrow. I am anxious.... but I will go no matter what.
Also I talked about bf with my family and it is wonderful what some distance and space gives you.... I realized that yes I was being pessimistic. I came back and we agreed to start from 0 again. About the intimate life, let's say these nights have been great for me, lol. Because I trust him again and my boundary was about to be broken, I was about to leave and he knew I was not joking.
Today he complimented me saying "I got character" and i was like
lol me?? NO ONE has told me that before and it felt soooooooooo great to feel like Someone and not a Shadow of Someone anymore.
It is so great to have someone who also participates on a relation and learns with you and tries to improve just like you....
Thanks a lot for your support, I feel much better, being with family was very soothing.
Now some sleep...... oh, got a haircut today, very modern and short, quite unique ! I like it. I have found I am not afraid to stand out anymore, I am starting to enjoy seeking it even...!