You are not alone. I could have written that exact same post. We are in the fight of our lives and must treat it as such. I have found myself praying more than ever. You need to stay strong for you and your health. I must stay strong for my wife and daughter. We can do this....one day at a time. Don't plan relapses, I caught myself doing that too.....just one day at a time. Be strong and I'll pray for us both.