hi-
"I own my flaws and mistakes, he doesn't"
(paraphrasing what I got from your post)
doesn't sound as much like someone trying to repair a relationship
as it does
as simply another way of keeping score.
I'd be careful about that.
as an alcoholic,
I can relate to it taking time and healing to be able to own up to ALL we did.
But-
were *I* to be called names
then when sober, the person said they were justified....
is someone I would have to think long and hard
about there really being anything TO repair.
There is nothing that I do
that 'justifies'
anyone degrading me emotionally or mentally or physically or any other 'ally'.
Nothing.
Just offered as food for thought.