Least,
I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I don't have bi-polar but from what I understand, sometimes the mood changes are rapid. I know for me, drinking has never, ever made anything better. While drinking, I just felt guilty and nuts. Afterward, the hangover and the anxiety and depression were worse. Please empty the bottle into the sink and quit before it gets very bad for you.
We are all here to support you. The mood will pass. Call your doctor for an emergency phone session.
Please take care of yourself. You are worth far more than what seems to be a solution for the moment.
Much love,
Lenina