I don't know how to tell you to say no, I guess that has to come from you. I do agree with the post that "NO is a sentence" and I feel that once you do start doing so make sure to be consistent so that he learns he can longer use you. I don't have much experience with this sort of thing beyond the fact that I have watched my exabf's mother give him so much money it would make your head spin. He would use any trick in the book usually saying that his family needed it or that his kids needed something. The irony is that our kids nor I ever saw that money. Hundreds upon thousands of dollars she had given in hopes that it was going to help us went to support his addiction. I couldn't understand why she would give it to him still even after her and I spoke because I told her that we were broke all of the time. The thing is that they are good manipulators and they DO know how to push our buttons. He would literally harass her all day until she caved and even pin her and I against each other so we would both be in the dark over what is going on. I know that you cannot stop your son from using but you do not have to allow yourself to be dragged down as well. You deserve better than that and I sincerely hope for you and your husband's sake that you do find the strength to do what is right for you.