Old 12-06-2009, 09:15 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
want2Bfree325
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: NY
Posts: 76
Hi TChappy,

I am really sorry that you are going through this and wish that things could be easy. You may have seen a post from me yesterday and I was going through the motions too of wanting to not lose my ex despite how much pain has been caused. So far, I have gone from angry to sad like a million times. One minute I am thinking 'Oh maybe I can be here for him while he cleans up' but the reality is I can't. I have been receiving text messages too that he has been 'clean for 7 days now' (not true...I think he went and got high the day that I broke up with him), 'this time is different' (that's what he said last time), 'he wants to take care of us' (he's never done that...he couldnt hold down a job and went back to his family's business just so he could wiesel money out of his mother...I don't even want to start on what he told his mother to leave work early all of the time and to get money - just to give you an idea, he made up a lot of bad lies about me), 'he needs me to believe in him' (I did until I realized it didn't matter unless he believed in himself...but you get the picture. His first text actually was that he'll be getting his things next week and now they are all of the repentive bs that yeah, I almost start to believe but stop myself. What has helped me is definitely coming on here and doing what you have done and posting what is going on so I gain some outside perspective. Things can be overwhelming and when emotions are involved it is hard to see the whole picture clearly so coming on here with everyone telling me not to contact and to keep doing what I am doing was empowering and snapped me out of it pretty quick. What has also helped is that I told him this morning in a text not to contact me again and I am trying my best to maintain the no contact thing from now on. Lastly, when I start 'romanticizing' him and thinking about all of the good things I do miss, I am trying to replace those thoughts with the nasty things he has done. It has been working so far to make me more angry than sad. I know it is hard and I hope this helps but please know that I am going through the same thing too. I pray that things get better for you but I think you made a wise decision for yourself.

Good luck and Take Care...
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