Returning
Hello!
I posted quite a lot this summer when I first quit drinking in June.
I have had weeks of sobriety with decisions to drink in between. I know that total abstinence from alcohol is what I need for peace and mental health.
What I've learned is that alcohol is merely a symptom of a much bigger problem for me. I have been fighting a deep, deep depression these last couple of months, in fact my whole life. I have had insomnia my whole life. I have used alcohol to self-medicate these problems without looking at the bigger picture. I have used medications for depression in the past, but have always told myself I was fine, went off them and spiraled down once again.
I am thinking that I may be bi-polar. I have an appointment with my GP on Tuesday and hope that she will refer me to a pychiatrist so I can get a definite diagnosis. When I look at the symptoms and the patterns in my life, it makes sense.
I think that alcohol is one aspect of my recovery and I feel like I need to heal much bigger aspects of my life than I anticipated. As daunting and intimidating as this feels, I feel like now there's is a glimmer of hope. Thanks for letting me share.
Cynthia