seems like its just not fair, don't it. sorry about your dad, seems like you've had one of those yrs. i really do hate addiction, it destroys people. i lost my younger bro, to alcohol and my dad's death was believed to be alcohol related and it all happened around xmas. its be yrs now but xmas is a reminder for me sometimes.
god knows you love him and he knows where you and your son are right now and he knows how to get him where he needs to be. his way and his time is not always like ours. try to continue to have faith that he will see you and him through all of this. i will be praying and believing with you. i believe he will honor the prayers of those who love him.