Now that makes sense keithj. I have heard that some addicts need to struggle to keep the misery fresh in their minds as to work hard and keep working at recovery. Maybe I need to struggle more. I dont mind doing it. I have never had to struggle for anything in my life ever. Except getting and staying clean. Trying to use at times. But as far as life nd building it, not really. I have said lots of times, I have been pretty freakin lucky to be where I am for what I have done to myself over the years. There are some that havent done or gone through a fraction of what I have put myself through and havent made it at all. I need to be grateful, Because I must be here for a reason.
Either that or this is all a cruel joke to torture myself the rest of my life.