SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - Pushed to the breaking point...and proud of myself
Old 12-03-2009, 07:44 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
honoryourself
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: east siiiide
Posts: 254
Originally Posted by Buffalo66 View Post
He would call from the bar all messed up and accuse me of being an irresponsible alcoholic for going out with the girls weeks before. Projection.

My new catch phrase; Holy projection, Batman! lol!

My AH is telling everyone who will listen that his "wife goes out every night of the week drinking and stays out until 3 am". Truth of the matter is that as I started separating myself from his issues, I started spending time with friends and family, at dinner sometimes, or doing something interesting and sometimes meeting up with an old friend for happy hour. ONE night I went out on a saturday and stayed out til close, had a snack with my friends and came home. I didn't do anything wrong at all. But he's telling everyone that this is what I do. He informed me that all his friends tell him it's obvious that I'm cheating on him because I go out drinking every night til 3 am. Well, if that were the truth I might be suspicious too!

The thing is, he had been going out and staying out all night, coming home at 3 and later sometimes, or not until the next day. When he drinks he doesn't stop, so he ends up on someone's couch or in a cab. He was pretty bad for a few weeks when the ship starting sinking for us. So I guess he was feeling pretty proud of himself to catch me out for my one night out dancing. Difference is, I had 2 beers all night, not 25, and I didn't chat up anyone at the bars to boost my ego.

It's maddening what projection can do. I think that's one of the most frustrating parts of all this, is controlling my reaction to his ridiculous projection.
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