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Old 12-02-2009, 06:27 PM
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FreeingMyself
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Join Date: Jun 2009
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Pushed to the breaking point...and proud of myself

My AH has not been drinking nearly as much lately - never stopped. I used to believe that his verbal abuse was related to the drinking, but in now I realize that was NOT true. It has only gotten worse since he has started drinking less. He could not find a clean towel this morning (I have 4 sons imagine that), so he started yelling at me. My only response was that he says that I bi*** alot, and that he should notice that he is the one complaining. Well then he said, "Quit cussing in front of my daughter you trailer ho. May as well have a cigarette in one hand and coffee in the other." OK....well I very rarely cuss at all......and he has an etremely foul mouth so what the heck! Anyway, then he was acting ridiculous because I was upset with him.......so then tonight at a bball game he decided to sticck his gum under the bleacher and I got mad. was not raised that way, and his 1 year old daughter was playing on the bleachers....really how old is he. I simply told him not to do that...and that said him off at how mean and disresectful I am. Then when we got home he started calling me a b and psycho, and insane, and hormonally imbalance, just to name a few.....and I DIDN'T lose it....not at all. I calmly stood there explaining to him that I would not be called names in my house anymore, or put down. I kept telling him that...well after a few more names I told him to get out then, and he left. And you know what...I don't care, I'm not sad, I'm not hurting, I don't want him here anymore if he thinks that treating me that way is ok. I have children that I do not want to become like that..........I actually realized sometime last week that I had very little left for him.....he called me a disgusting b last week....and for whatever reason those words broke me...though he has called me much worse than that in past...but those simple words over and over hurt....and I realized I AM WORTH MORE...I DESERVE MORE....and whatever struggles I must go through I can do it...so I am now resolved to the fact that I deserve to be treated with respect. And right now I feel quite empowered!!!!!!!!!!!!
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