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Old 12-02-2009, 09:22 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Recovered1
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 81
Originally Posted by Aysha View Post
It sucks when your stuck between doing the right thing for yourself or doing what you think is right for someone else.
I am a strait forward kind of person. And sometimes that is the thing that gets me in trouble. But no one has ever had to ask me what I mean or what is on my mind. LOL
If it were me in your situation. I would wait til she was feeling a little better. But not too long. And then sit down f2f or over the phone, even through email if you have to. But you need to make your concerns known. Maybe she has some as well.
But mainly focus on whats best for you. If her lifestyle is affecting you, then stay away.
Ulitimately we cant blame anyone for our own state of mind and actions. We are responsible for ourselves. We can only change what we do and think. If an enviroment is bothering you or affecting you in a bad way. Then you have the ability to get up and remove yourself.
I had my first real serious panic attack aside from the ones when I was hospitalized last Tues night. It was scary. I have never felt such dread and fear before. It was very overwhelming. I had to remove myself from the situation and then it still took hours to stop shaking.
I called my Dr the next day and had him fill my anxiety meds. Non addictive anxiety meds. Xanax isnt a good idea for the addcitive person. My DOC is cocaine. But dont think I wouldnt eat xanax like candy if I could. So I am glad you know that about yourself.
Just take it easy on yourself. Your friends issues are not yours unless you make them yours. I have had to remove myself from my cousins drama that has put me in a serious spot to be arrested or hurt. But I took it upon myself to take it there. But she doesnt want to do anything about it and keeps defending what I was trying to eliminate. So my efforts were useless. If she wants to live like that and be treated like that. Its on her. But I am done hearing about it and getting involved. Its over for me and that situation. Cause it was pushing me over the edge when I am already in a fragile state already from my own issues.
Take care of yourself!!!! You are all that matters!
Thanks, Aysha. I think of survival mechanisms when I read your post. That is what I am working on today. You have your MP3. I have my TV and sofa. I just ate some spinach pie. Yum. I've held my pups. :ghug2

I guess we really have to take care of ourselves to be of any use to anyone else. To this end, I am going to turn my phone off today and not deal with anything. I have to go pick up a couple of necessary prescriptions, buy some nutritious food and just rest. We really do beat ourselves up with this crap. At times it is only the basics. Good food, rest, sleep and when we can muster it up - exercise. As you said in one of your posts - baby steps, baby steps. We can only take on so much.

I've paid the electricity. I've paid the water. I have a bed to sleep in, should I choose. Here's hoping you have a stress-less day and hang in there.
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