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Old 12-01-2009, 10:59 PM
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Jane47
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 138
I finally found my bottom

Hi everyone,
Haven't been on here much lately.
I've been trying to stay sober for almost a year. I've learned a lot, gained a lot of tools.
The longest I've made it is 63 days, I have over 200 days clean this year which is quite an accomplishment for me. I've been drinking for over 30 years.
Last week I screwd up again,then went on my lunch break of my job of 10 years, I usually eat lunch in my car so I can smoke. I went to my car, drove home and never went back.
That was Wednesday, went to my work on Friday morning and apoligized to my boss for walking out without a notice. She gave me a hug and told me it was ok, said sometimes we gotta do what we gotta do.
On Saturday a coworker stopped by my house and said the boss wanted to talk to me, wanted me to stop in on Monday.
I went to work to talk to her on Monday and she told me she was punching me in at work for a few hours Monday and Tuesday and had me fill out a vacation slip. She said she fixed my file so it looked like I put in a two weeks notice so I could get my vacation time coming.
I had been so depressed that morning that I had made an appointment for an alcohol acessment with the county scheduled for the next day. I was now unemployed and without health insurance so I qualified for a free accessment.
My boss said if I went to treatment and couldn't find a job I was welcome back there at any time.
At my acessment today because I have no job I qualified for a 30 day inpatient program. They granted me 30+ days and full medical benefits and I go in on Thursday.
The treatment center is over 2 hours away. They offered to pick me up and I said I'd find my own ride.
I have family in the area and decided to drive myself most of the way. So far I have had 10 family members offer to take me there.
It's scary leaving home for a month or more but anyone struggling out there should keep trying to stay sober. When you fall, keep picking yourself up again.
For me things finally all came together.
I've never been offered rides anywhere by so many people.
The acessor shook my hand today and thanked me for being open and honest and wished me the best. She said she was used to court ordered people that don't want help and are in denial.
Eleven months ago when I got out of detox and was supposed to have this same acessment I was told I made too much money.
I have finally hit my bottom and now I have people offering to help me. It is amazing.
Jane47 is offline