emailguy23

So basically I have drank for 15 years, more or less every day especially the last 5 years. Always considered it social, always trying to fool myself into thinking 6 drinks a night is normal, if its just beer and maybe a cocktail to end the night. Everything I do lately has revolved around drinking, in some form. Golf, football games, bar night out, work happy hours, the list grows.

So 10 days ago I hurt myself and had to have surgery, stayed in the hospital 3 nights. I panicked. I told my doctors about my drinking but they didn't take it very serious. Surgery went well, but my withdrawl sucked. I had never felt like that before in my life. The first 5 days I might as well have been dead. I was nausated, headache, shaky, absolutlely no appetite. I ate popsicles and juice for a week and laid in bed afraid to move. The next few days were better, but still bad. I had this crazy sense of smell that lasted a few days. My fatigue was incredible.

I'm on day 10 now and I'm feeling better, a lot better actually. Other than seeing some cocktail on the food network TV today, I really haven't thought 'directly' about drinking. I'm not even sure what I am or what I want to do at this point. My insomnia is terrible and my nose is running constantly. I really do feel like I just came out of a war. I'd love to actually drink socially again... but I'm not sure I'm programmed to be able to do that.

My goal is to stay sober for a month and then talk with my doctor directly about my thoughts and fears and maybe also about an anti-anxiety med. My wife and family make me extremely anxious, which I think indirectly led to my drinking increase the last 5 years. I feel like talking to him (the doc) while sober is a good idea.. I dont have to try and make excuses, just be honest.

I hope I can sleep tonight.. is insomnia a pretty common side effect?