HaHa
"nobody ever said learning to live was easy"
Yeah that aint no lie JK. But I must tell you the life I have today is far easier than I ever thought it could be. I always made life hard for some reason. It's because I'm an egomaniac by nature. I make myself and my life out to be so important every little detail overwhelms me.
I remember putting off doing my stepwork for the same reasons. Getting drunk, and calling my sponsor a day later. Telling him how hard the whole "recovery" deal has been for poor little helpless me. Especially the 4th step.
I'll never forget: He said "Ya this deal aint for sissies" Oohh that burned me up. But it was what I needed to hear. And even that didn't make me do my stepwork right away. Eventually alcohol beat me into a state of willingness I had never even dreamed of.
Today I look back at all the time I spent beating myself up, analyzing life, and trying to figure everything out. What a waste. AA has taught me how I feel isn't a result of what I've been thinking. It's the result of what I've been doing.
My job is small. His is big. (Higher Power). I just do the little things in front of me that he would have me do, and it makes life so much easier.
Best Wishes