Hi FreeSpirit-
I know exactly how you feel. I'm a binge drinker who cannot physically make myself stop once I start. I drink to the point of blacking out on most occasions and I always wind up feeling guilty and depressed the next day.
Can you talk to your husband and tell him how you feel about drinking? I know you mentioned that he knows how wasted you get and begs you to go out with him anyway, but does he know how much it upsets you? Maybe if you have a serious conversation about it, you can work out a compromise...like just going out for a few hours instead of 8? Or maybe planning special outings together during the day that don't involve alcohol?
It's worth a shot.
Also, maybe you can join a volunteer group or something that doesn't center around drinking. Then you could make some new friends independent of your husband. That's what I've been trying to do. I want to meet some new people who don't drink to have fun. I've been isolating myself a bit to avoid being around alcohol, but I think it's time to get out there and find something I can enjoy. Maybe you can find something as well?
Good luck with everything.
Becca