Old 11-30-2009, 07:06 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Cleansing
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New York
Posts: 393
1 So from September 2008-February 2009 I made 6 months clean, but it was the worst time of my life. I came out the psych ward in September, overmedicated. I was your typical psych ward patient. Drooling all the time, unable to eat a full meal, shaking, and couldn't to sit still for more than 20 minutes. Took me like 3 hours to sleep everynight because it felt so uncomfortable no matter what psotion. Not a pleasurable sobriety phase. I was deeply depressed, but too medicated to harm myself or others. I often wished I was dead, and wanted to cry all the time if I weren't so numb.

2 Second go led me to 3 months clean, but it still wasn't 100 percent, because I was on Valium, and taking extra here and there. I don't think you're considered dirty if you're taking Benzos, but I found myself looking forward to the time scheduled for each dose, and that was the highpoint of my day. And like I said, I was abusing them.

3 Now, on round 3, I'm finally making meetings daily (except this past week, preparing for Thanksgiving made me miss a few, though that's no real excuse), doing programs, and on thereaputic values of my meds.


P.S. When I asked about rehab/detox, I didn't mean that they were bad options, I just wanted to know what ticked you off about them. Could be small or big. Rehab has saved my life, so far.
Cleansing is offline