Am I an alcoholic?
I really can't figure it out. To the degree that I can't NOT drink and I know it is the cause of problems I am. But it takes a weird form. I only drink 2 or at most 3 drinks a night. I never get really high, just a buzz.
The physical symptoms I have are ones that sound like withdrawal of dehydration but it makes no sense because the ONLY difference between a night with drinks and a night without is just that. I drink diet cola instead.
The liquor that seems to bother me physically is vodka. A couple of nights with wine or whiskey and no cramps. Just 6 ounces of vodka and the danger of cramps comes back THAT NIGHT. Is that a usual thing?
One more observation about my drinking, I know it is to relieve some tension I feel in my gut. I ask myself what it is I'm feeling that drives me to the bottle and it is just that, a tension I can't identify the source of. One drink and I am ok, I like the feeling so have a second. If I'm not careful I will drink more but usually that isn't a struggle. Then I get hungry and eat, which is a bigger problem.
Thoughts? I never heard of anyone like me.