hi, ruby, sorry to hear about your husband and daughter, i pray they find their way soon. as you know, there is not much you can do to help them. alanon sounds like a great idea. imo, alanon is a life time deal. it helps me to keep my head above the waters. the effects of addiction seems to be so subtle, it can kind of sneak up on ya.
don't know many functional addicts that stays functional very long, addiction usually get progressively worse without a working plan of recovery, i'm a recovering addict and changing drugs/ cutting back with what some would call a lesser drug, never worked very long for me, it always eventually led me back to my drug of choice. i pray this is not the case with your loved ones and i will keep them and you in my prayers.
i do understand how stressful all of this can be, remember, try to keep the focus on you. good to see you are going back to alanon.