Neomarxist, I DO understand & relate to what you are saying. I grieved over losing that aspect of my life for a long time. It's what kept me from quitting for many years - I just couldn't face not having it as part of celebrating & unwinding. I also must agree with Horselover, Ann & Dee, though - in the end, it wasn't worth it any more. I was losing my grip on reality. I think it depends how long & how much you drank & how badly it destroyed your life.
The first year when the holidays approached and I couldn't drink I was miserable & filled with self-pity. Knowing this disease was going to kill me - I had no choice but to white-knuckle it through. This year I don't feel miserable, and have found new ways to enjoy the season. I feel for you. I'm glad you're going to your meeting. Please don't stop posting.