Neo
I've posted to you a few times. I think you're in real danger of resenting yourself back there.
You're missing the highs, the buzz? Chasing that dragon draws more than one of us back in - but read your first posts here.
*Thats* what alcohol does.
You're missing excitement and life on the edge? then go live it on the edge - party, play gigs, skydive, scuba, quadbike - whatever...just don't drink and drug.
If you're scared you won't be able to do that without being tempted to drink and drug, then you have more work to do, mate.
D