Alcohol must have been more of a friend to you then it was me. Towards the end of my drinking career all it did was complicate things. I am so MUCH MORE happy, carefree, and experience things a lot more deeper and intense then I did while drinking. Drinking numbed every single emotion I had and it caused many, many stupid arguments.
Its not my friend and life IS much better. I wish you luck and pray you find the joy you are seeking elsewhere. The bottle isn't the answer in my opinion.