Dreamvert,
The many healthy honest people I've met in recovery are the proof I need to have faith that sobriety has its own rewards. But I tend to get overwhelmed by thoughts of how much is not right w/ my life today.
If I'm stuck today thinking about the future (or the past), I'm just getting older & more frustrated. I may plan for the future, but can only act in the now.
You are getting help by making appointments with therapists so I offer this suggestion; call a recovery group in your area and just visit - you don't have to stop drinking, don't have to share at the meeting just invest an hour investigating for yourself.
Here is one contact (there are others CR, NA, etc.):
Alcoholics Anonymous, AA help, AA information, and AA meeting directories.
ANNAPOLIS MARYLAND A.A.
Annapolis Area A.A. Intergroup
Annapolis MD Telephone: 410 268-5441
Annapolis Area Intergroup