((Kindeyes))
My son disappeared the yrs. he was using.
It's interesting that your son wants contact.
Either way it is difficult.
It helped me to stay close to my own recovery through alanon, alanon friends and therapy.
Now that my son is sober, we have the relationship I always wanted. Largely because I did my work too. I learned where I ended and he began.
Hopefully, one day you too will have a healthy mutually respectful relationship w/ your son.
In the mean time, remember that which brings you joy and focus in that direction.