thank you all so much for your insight. i am so glad i found this community...helps to know i'm not alone.
i think i've always perhaps always known deep in my heart that really loving someone means being able to let them go. and i cannot detach from him while still seeing him or talking to him. it just breaks my heart, but from my experiences, i know that most of the best decisions are also the toughest.
i just hope i can stay strong.
Thank you all again.