Glad you're looking for support
I would never want to be a drinker again.. I am never envious of people that drink. Instead of thinking they "get" to drink, I usually just think of how I "get" to be sober, remember everything, no longer have hangovers, can always drive safely, and can just be myself. I feel a tad bit of pity for folks that still have the crutch of alcohol.. it feels good not to need it. But I had to WORK really hard to get here..