((Trish)) when anyone tells me I can't do something or says something negative, based on my past or THEIR interpretation of what they believe of me, and I know it's not right, I get angry and it's like I put my fist in the air and say "watch me!!! I'll show you!!!!"
Use the anger as motivation, sweetie. Prove him wrong. I had to do it, and I DID prove my dad wrong and he is very proud of me today.
Let Rowan help you. Remember - you've got to do things you've never done before because this time is different - this time you're willing to do the things you've not been willing to do before. I tried to do the steps on my own, too. When I finally got a sponsor who "got" me and pointed out some things I'd never thought about, it made things make a lot more sense. It was like "oh, wow...never realized THAT!"
Get your meds - they are crucial. Your mind needs to be working clearly. This is a priority.
Stick with us, we're here for ya!
Luv you, sweetie!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy