Hey everybody. Sorry it has been a day or so. Thanks to all the replies and people who shared their stories. Read them all thoroughly, and deffinately get something from all of them. One thing I really like about the forum is nobody tells you anything cliche or judges you or tells you things you have heard over and over. Instead try to help, and I think that is because you are talking to people who understand and have/had the same problems. Thanks for the advice on finding more than just one network, in patient or outpatient, behavioral health institute and the medical card idea. I will look into it. Ironically I actually just got an email (not through the forum), I just read, from someone whos daughter, went to some facility not far from here and it was funded somehow without insurance. I got a few ideas and people to talk to, to find out a few more things, but yeah I will look into it all. "Wecome to all of you. When is someday? Today, tomorrow, next week, next year or never?" Saphie I catch myself saying that all the time and think about it. Just think I have a lot of work to do. Denial has went away and I have slowed down a lot, but i get tempted, and find any EXCUSE to drink, also being in between jobs, afraid of boredom, habit, angry, anxious, can't sit still then find myself going to the liqour store. If im not sleeping or finding myself being productive during the day, then I mess it all up by wanting a drink then over drinking as usual. That's why I feel I need to do more and go to some sort of treatment or something, and help myself even more instead of it going on. "LightAtTheEnd, Your selected username says almost as much about you as your post." Asta1. Kinda funny story actually besides procrastinating and thinking someday I will do this, that was the second drawback. I wanted to pick a screen name that sounded positive but sounded relative to where im at now, I eventually settled on LightAtTheEnd, because LightAtTheEndOfTheTunnel was to long. "(altho I have to admit I always knew what city I was in -- I don't travel much :-))" Asta1. I live in Texas, was in Oklahoma City for a few days, in bricktown, long story short I was stressing things started drinking rediculously, woke up in detox a few hours later, not knowing where I was at. I have only drank for 10 years, I would say addicted since the last 5 or 6, and yes it is a progressive disease, it does get worse, wish I would have never started really. Always something to say but guess I will stop here for now. Thanks again to everyone and I will gradually try to shorten my post, and space out my paragraphs or something, still kinda new at this. Take care everybody.