This thread gave me the bubble guts!
I am angry that someone would give antoher person any type of misery knowing they have never tried it. I just dont get it.
I still resent the person that got me smoking the ****. He ruined my life. Noy knwingly. But he did in my eyes. And I know its all on me. But if he hadnt given me that first few. I dont know if I would have ever tried it.
Why is it always someone we are involved with that gets us to do the stupidest ****?
I cant answer your question. But I know for me, I never in a million yrs thought I would have gone the path I have for the past 16 yrs. Never.
I look back and I am just like "Where the hell has my life gone?"
I have struggled with this crap for so long. It almost feels like a life sentence to me. But thank goodness for people like Impurrfect and others who have gotten out of it, I have hope.
What feels impossible is possible and the proof is right there.
I ruined everything in a matter of hours last weekend. I was doing the best I have in so long. And in one night I managed to lose my job, almost get stabbed, get blamed for missing money at work, that I really didnt take this time, my van got all 4 tires stabbed, had a meltdown and just got home from a mental hospital. Have to go to a 6 to 9 mo program so I can get my life together and stop effin everything up every few months.
It happend so fast mst of the time. It steals your very soul. And anything is the perfect excuse to use.
I got a trillion and one excuses to get high. And none of them are relevant. Its the addicts rationalization that makes it seem like they are valid reaosns. Thats such BS.
I suggest you get some help before you do lose everything. I wouldnt worry too much about your "drunken wife." I would be focusing on my own addictive issues. Theres nothing you can do for your wife unless she wants to stop. So do what you gotta do for yourself and find some kind of help to get you clean. And stay away from those people or that "lady friend" who is probably only using you to get high. Actually there is no probably about it. Your a great target, a crack addicts dream. We use to love it when people like you came slummin in our neighborhood. It was like we won the lotto. Use you up and throw you back to your mess and be done with you. Until you came looking for that misery again. And we are more than happy to serve it up to feed our own addictions. wWork you over and possibly set you up and rob you if we thought we could.
Get some help for yourself. Please. You think its bad now. It can always get worse.