Old Dream
Before my daughter left for college in the fall of 08 I use to hide the alcohol...how I longed for her to leave so I could have an endless supply and no longer have to hide it. What kind of mother is happy that their child is leaving just so they could drink?? I would dream of having cases and cases stored in the garage so that it would be there anytime day or night. She left for college and I never did do that because I knew that she could come home at anytime and I didn't want to hear her disappointed speech that she would always give me. So, I kept hiding it just in case.
Why am I telling all of you this....30 days sober today. The past 30 days have been rough, but also very rewarding. I had no other life before but work and drinking. In the past 30 days I've spent more time doing things that I forgot I enjoyed....walking my dogs, reading and so many other things but spending 3 of the past 4 weekends with my daughter has been the best thing to come out of my new found sobriety. I would have never dreamed of driving up to see her just for a day. How could I be away from my precious alcohol? Couldn't have that.
I've missed so much of her life because of my drinking, but I feel fortunate that she doesn't hate me. How did I end up with this wonderful child?? I feel like I did nothing but make her life miserable so how could she turn out so well?? I still don't have the answer for that, but I'm thankful for the past 30 days. And I am looking forward to the next and the next and so on and so on.
My new dream is to be sober and to stay sober and to enjoy my life without regrets.
I also wanted to thank everyone here. Just for listening and even though we might not always agree on everything thats ok. Thank you so much for the support that you have given.
Deana