Nikki, I`m sorry the year has been so bad for you, and hope the days ahead get better.
Perhaps taking time just for you and healing from past wounds will help you make better choices from a healthier perspective in the future. Meetings and counseling are good, and taking time just to learn to get to know yourself and to learn that you can take care of yourself and find happiness without a relationship.
Keeping you in my prayers because I know this isn`t easy. I also know that it does get better when we get to know that stranger called `me`.
Hugs