WagginTail

I've just found SR while searching for a legal description for alcoholism. I'm 5 months sober, the most since I was a teenager (how depressing- I'm 48), and feeling very good about myself.

I recently completed a mandated recovery program of 12 weeks out-patient lectures and group sessions, which I actually enjoyed. I've been going to 5-10 AA meetings weekly since discovering that program 2 months ago, and recently acquired a sponsor. I'm glad for the knowledge and help I've been finding in these meetings, though it is slightly uncomfortable in one sense: I'm a contented atheist with no desire to change my ideology. I am attempting to work the steps using my heretofore untouched "higher self", or higher intellect, my rational brain rather than my insecure, scared, resentful, defiant, adolescent personality. Wish me luck!

The reason I was looking for a legal description to the disease of alcoholism, is my wife as decided to divorce me, and is going to use my drinking as a means of taking the children for herself. My two girls, ages 5 and 8, have been the most important part of my life, and I've been their primary caretaker for years. As a self-employed carpentry and general contractor, my flexible schedule has allowed me to be as close to a "stay at home dad" as one can get and still bring in a substantial income. Currently I work full-time in my shop on our property, though I haven't been making any money lately. My wife works a retail position which keeps her away until almost bedtime every day she works, so I've been feeding and taking care of the girls most evenings for years.

I'm trying to find some legal descriptions that discuss varying degrees of alcoholism. I have been psychologically dependent, but never physically dependent on alcohol. My wife is going to try to portray me as a no-good drunk; I call myself a "high functioning alcoholic", because of the following reasons, among others:
1) I've been a successful businessman all these years, never missing a day of work, never loosing a customer or failing to complete a contract because of my drinking.
2) I've never been on a bender, never had blackouts, never trashed my friendships, never been violent or committed crimes other than the driving kind, never neglected or abused my spouse or children while drinking.
3) I have been able to abstain completely from drinking any alcohol for the past 5 months without any noticeable physical symptoms, and never incurred any negative health effects from drinking, other than the occasional hangover and a beer belly that has disappeared since quitting.
4) For the 2 years prior to my recent DUII, (the reason for my wife’s decision to divorce me), I had been practicing "controlled drinking", in which I never had alcohol in the house, drank no more than 2 to 3 times per week, (2 to 3 drinks per episode), and rarely achieved actual drunkenness during this 2 year period. There were two instances, over 3 years ago, in which our child-care provider called my wife to come pick up the children, rather than let me take them, but I don’t know for sure if I was over the legal limit. I was irritable and withdrawn towards my wife whenever I drank, but I blamed it more on my shame at having drank, and on her controlling, intolerant attitude, rather than on the alcohol. (Did I mention I'm an alcoholic?)

My wife is an excellent mother, just as I have been an excellent father for all these years. I have never harmed my sweet young children, nor have I ever neglected or abused them. I can respect her decision to divorce me, but not her desire to keep me from getting joint custody and being the father I deserve to be. Anyone out there have some experience or suggestions on how to protect myself from her and her lawyer? I'm unable to afford one myself, and am looking for any help I can get. Thanx, WT