Thread: Weekend
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Old 11-20-2009, 12:06 PM
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NEOMARXIST
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Weekend

So another weekend is here. As a few of you may remember I have struggled the last couple of weekends but this has enabled me to get more strength and just get things more straight in my head (quite a difficult thing!lol)

Seeing the struggle through and sharing about it, both on SR and at AA meetings, has enabled me to greater understand. I am pretty sure that I will be much better this weekend as I am totally resolute and gratefull that drinking ain't an option for this alcoholic. I feel proud that I am sober for 4.5 months and am totally aware that drinking would have done absolutely nothing for my life but to make it even more f*cked up than what it had become.

I am still really living one day at a time and not being able to really comprehend striking up any "outside" relationships. Though i may appear quite confident and for some moments I have much confident, I am still quite insecure and shy in my own skin and these uncomfortable feelings I have to deal with as part of my recovery. I used to use my binges to escape these feelings of uncomfort but when the binge was over they would be worse and I would be living for my next escape again.

I think I am slowly getting there one day at a time and I hope that as long as I remain sober then gradually my life will take shape and my confidence/self-love will gradually start to increase.

I am off to my Friday night AA meeting now as i find Friday night and Saturday nights particularly difficult and I can start projecting my thoughts badly about what others are doing and what I'm not doing.

Thanks for letting me share....

peace xxx
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